Memoirs of a Dragon Lover
by Lori-darling
Summary: He said to me once, ‘Never forget that no matter what happens, I’ll always love you.’ I believed him.
1. Default Chapter

Memoirs of a Dragon Lover  
  
Chapter One - It begins  
  
He said to me once, 'Never forget that no matter what happens, I'll always love you.' I believed him.  
  
Every story must have a beginning (or so I've been told) and ours started not so long ago. It started during the dark times, when people were too blind to see, too busy to hear and too preoccupied to care. It was my seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It seems such a long time ago, in reality, only three years, but those three years have been enough. Too many horrors, for such a short time. But I must not let my mind wander. It will do no good for me to think about things that I can't change, not matter how hard I try, or how much I want to. As I was saying, it was my last year, and the rise and threat of Voldemort hung like a thick blanket over the school, oppressive and terrifying. I spent a lot of time on my own that year, and I suppose that that's how the whole thing started. Yes, I remember.  
  
  
  
It was a cloudy night; so the sky shone silver outside the astronomy tower window. I was alone; at least I thought I was. Dreaming of all things past, present.future. And suddenly, there he was. He was standing in the arch of the doorway, his smirk momentarily stunned away by my presence. I reeled inside. He walked to the window, stopped, Looked out and mumbled something about the beautiful night. I said I liked the stars. He smiled then, really smiled, not just a smirk, and said he preferred the stars too. The clouded light reflected off his ivory skin, off of his silvery hair, off of his stormy eyes. Beautiful. Suddenly, unexpectedly, he was there in front of me. Hands tangled in my hair, lips finding mine. Tasting of peppermint; and smelling of leather-bound books, sealing wax and subdued sarcasm. Hands memorising every curve of my body, mouth leaving fiery trails of kisses up and down my neck. Strands of silver hair tangled in my eyelashes. Uncontrolled. Hasty breathing. Frantic whispers.  
  
"Is this right?"  
  
"How can it be wrong when it feels like this?" Not an answer.  
  
Robes, like puddles of black ink on the floor. Gusts of icy cold wind blew through the window. Pushed to the floor, knees on either side of my hips, illuminated by the pale light. Raised eyebrow, questioning glance. I nodded, knowing nothing would ever be the same again.Enemy territory. His skin touched mine, nerves alive like tiny pinpricks of fire. Liquid fire running through my veins, claiming my senses. Intoxicating. Controlled breathing tickling my ear. I grimaced as he broke me, tears building up and spilling over. Tenderly he kissed them away, a side of him I'd never seen. I nodded and tentatively he began to move inside me. The breath on my ear grew faster, harsher, rhythmically Malfoy. Sweat on my face mingled with his, tasting strangely of salt and flowers, reminding me of Spring. Deep inside me a warmth began to spread.slowly at first, but then ecstasy flowed through my body. He smiled as I hissed his name through clenched teeth, looking almost as if he wouldn't mind hearing that over and over again. His smile widened and his eyes closed and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Spread out upon the robes on the floor, breathing returning to normal, heartbeat slowing, realisation of what I.we did dawning. Opened my mouth to speak, only to find a finger pressed firmly against my lips. Eyes showing understanding. Head resting against his shoulder, treasuring the moment. His lips brushed my forehead. Soft whispers told me that it was late, we'd be in trouble if we were caught. Curfew. He stood, beautiful in his bareness. I caressed his body with my eyes, commiting him to memory the way he was in the moonlight. He wrapped my robe around me, kissed me softly on the lips, and whispered into my ear, a small, knowing smile played upon his lips.  
  
I smiled back, "Goodnight my Dragon."  
  
Another smile from him, "I like that."  
  
I left the tower then, heading into the future, unknowing, but hoping that my Dragon would be there to share it with me.  
  
And so, my first encounter with a dragon was less than terrifying. I didn't know just then how much that one night would change me, my future and everything I believed. 


	2. Before the Beginning

Memoirs of A Dragon Lover – Chapter Two

Before the Beginning

_'I'm sinking slowly,_

_So hurry hold me,_

_Your hand is all I have_

_To keep me hanging on' – Michelle Branch, 'All You Wanted'_

"Please don't go. I love you."

"You don't love me Hermione. You see only the outside of me. You can never understand what's inside of me. In here." He pointed to his head. "and never, ever will you understand what's in here." He pointed to his heart.

My eyes stung, as tears bubbled up into them. He couldn't mean that, he just couldn't. 

"You don't mean that. Of course I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I do…" 

He interrupted my desperate pleading, by pressing a finger firmly to my lips. "Hermione, we weren't meant for each other. You wouldn't be happy with me."

"But I love you!"

He turned then, his face set, and he walked from the room. He didn't look back.

"So that's it then?" I whispered to his back. The only answer I got was silence.

I felt ill. All of the repressed emotions inside me came tumbling out. I choked. I cried. I tried to stop. Bile rose in my throat. Putrid, bitter, mirroring what I felt. I leant my back against the undressed stone of the wall. The frigidness of the rock making me feel better. Less intimidated by what I was feeling. It was then I sensed I was being watched. And the coldness of the rock spread through my body. Who had seen me? How long had they been standing there? 

"Who's there?"

"Does it really matter?" came the disembodied voice, from somewhere off to my right. 

"Yes. Please, show yourself." The ill feeling came over me again as I beheld the person in front of me. Draco Malfoy. The incarnation of everything I disliked. He stayed in the shadows. They suited him. 

"Granger…"

"What is it Malfoy? Going to gloat over what you just saw? Tell the whole school? I don't care. Tell them!"

"Why on earth would I do something like that Granger?" He replied, a smirk appearing on his lips. "I'd rather use it as leverage. For when I want something."

"That's blackmail!"

"Well done Granger," he said sardonically. "That's ten points to Gryffindor."

"Well, let's get it over and done with then."

"Granger, believe me, if that's what I wanted, you wouldn't be fully clothed still."

I blushed. I stammered. What in Merlin's name was wrong with me? "That's not what I meant and you know it Malfoy," I spat his name like acid off my tongue. "What do you want from me?"

He leaned in close to me, arms on either side of my face, pinning me to the wall. 

"Granger, I want you to tell me that you love me. Like you just did to Potter."

"I won't ever do that. I love Harry, and I…"

"Yes, yes. We all know. 'You love him and you want to be with him forever'. Well let me tell you something…sweetheart. You have more in common with me than you believe, or you'll let yourself believe. But one day you _will_ tell me you love me. And you'll mean it. And I won't pretend to break your heart like Potter did. I'll break it properly…"

I felt anger push blood into my face. Intoxicating me. "I'm nothing like you Malfoy. Nothing. I will never say that I love you. I don't. I never will. Therefore…sweetheart, you will never break my heart. You'll never have it!" I turned and walked away. I could hear him laughing behind me, but I didn't care. I cared for nothing. Not now that my heart was broken…

Hours drifted into days, days rolled into weeks, and still I spoke nothing of that night to Harry. It wasn't worth it. Sometimes, when I think back, I wonder how different things would have been had he accepted me, but there's no point really. Things happened the way they did for a reason. There's always a reason. 

During the next month, I found out just how easily broken hearts healed, I thought less and less of Harry, and more and more of the intriguing, dangerous, malicious Malfoy. He presented himself to me at every turn . Wherever I was, he was there. Wherever I looked, he was there. Always slipping me sly smiles and winks, just to remind me of his power over me. And, as strange as it seems, I enjoyed it. I was distancing myself from the rest of the world. Slowly tearing myself away from the people who needed me. Allowing darkness to tinge me with its tendrils. Closing my heart to everything. To everyone. But not to Draco. Somehow, even when the rest of me felt encased in smoked glass, he still made me feel, and I didn't care that it was dislike, even hatred that pulsed through my veins, I felt, and proved to myself I was still human. It was that fact that drew me to him. As I grew numb, he was the part that felt normal. My dislike of him was the stability of my life during that time. I guess I was crazy, well I thought I was when I wrote Draco the note that I did. 

Meet me. Tonight. Astronomy Tower. H.

Five words that changed me forever. I didn't expect him to come. I don't know what he thought when he saw me. Perhaps it was the wrong time for me to run, especially into the arms of the enemy. Draco was as dark as I was light at that time. He terrified me. Except when we made love. The darkness disappeared then. We were equals. I was a long time before I admitted that I loved him to myself. We hid our relationship from the world, and even from each other unless we were alone. We hid it because we knew it was wrong, deceitful, even treasonous. We were traitors, we slept with the enemy and got up alone. But we were right. It turned out alright in the end.


	3. Dirty Little Secret

Memoirs of A Dragon Lover – Chapter Three Dirty Little Secret 

_'You're the only story that I never told,_

_You're my dirty little secret, wanna keep you so. _

_Come on out, come on over, help me forget_

_Keep the walls from falling in on me, tumbling in._

_This is love I'm feeling' – P.J Harvey, This is Love_

To those of you who knew me then, I'm sorry. Draco Malfoy was my dirty little secret, as I was his. He was the person that I loved to hate, and equally, the person that I hated to love. And he completed me. I will never be fully able to explain in words what drew me to him. Perhaps I was running. Perhaps I thought that the thin shoulders of Draco Malfoy could protect me from a reality that was too real. Perhaps I was drawn to the darkness that surrounded him, was a part of him. Perhaps there is no reason except for coincidence and timing. And perhaps, just perhaps, I needed him. 

We met always at night, for we were creatures of darkness, committing a sin so utterly terrible I squirm to think of it. That sin was love. I didn't love him at first, for how could I? He was truly horrid. Sarcasm rolled from his tongue like venom. His heart was made of stone. He cared for no one. Nothing. But, as I said before, he made me angry, hurt, incensed, and all of that was preferable to apathy. No, I didn't love him at first. He changed me though. My dragon. And I think that perhaps I changed him. We gave each other a little of our qualities, he gave me darkness, I gave him light, and from that time on, we were pilgrims of the grey area that never quite belong anywhere. 

We met when the moon was high above the trees of the forest, in remote, forbidden parts of the castle. No one knew we met. We were secretive, sneaky, and the darkness in which we met suited us entirely. We were together in the darkness, and there I learned that Draco was not who he seemed from the outside. After we made love, which we always did, for we revelled in carnality, soft and pure or rough and tainted, we would talk. Of the past, of the present, of the uncertain future, and we understood one another. I knew that I loved him when I woke up next to him one morning. We had not gone back to our rooms and had fallen asleep in each others arms. I woke, and the sunlight was streaming through the small window, making shadows dance upon his face. He looked innocent. And I knew that that was the way things were meant to be. Light, innocent. Never should children have to grow up under the oppression of fear, darkness, all of things that made my dragon who he was. I knew that things in my world would never be the same again, not now. I said before that love was a sin, and it truly was, because it was a weakness. Love caused a crack in the veneer of our person. It was a fault line in our convictions. But most of all, it was a blessing upon our souls, a truly unacceptable thing when war was knocking on the door and I loved my enemy.  

I knew that he would go. What else would he do? He was drawn to power like a moth to the flame, and Voldemort was powerful, undoubtedly. I didn't know though that his call would come so soon. So suddenly. So unexpectedly. The night he was called, he came to me later than usual. I knew straight away that something was wrong, for I had never seen him sad before. I had seen him jealous, many a time, Draco Malfoy was a very possessive person. I had seen him angry, at me, at his father, at the world. I had seen him impassive. But never had I seen him happy…and never, ever sad. Yet he came to me that night with tears of sadness in his pleading eyes. What could I do? I didn't know. I held him tight as he choked out what I already knew. He had to go. Leave. Perhaps I'd never see him again. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks, I didn't want him to leave me. I loved him. I needed him. Even with his sarcasm, his dry humour, foul temper, he was everything I needed. It was now or never…

"Draco."

"Yes?"

"I never told you this, but…I love you."

"I know."

"Oh."

"And Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Never forget, that no matter what happens, I'll always love you."

"I know."

And that was it. He loved me, though I knew he would never show it. Somehow I had reached him. I knew we could never have a future though, not now. Not ever. Fate mocked me. As he kissed me I despaired. I didn't know what to do. My mind flickered back to a memory that was not so long ago, though it seemed like an eternity. 

"Well let me tell you something…sweetheart. You have more in common with me than you believe, or you'll let yourself believe. But one day you **will** tell me you love me. And you'll mean it. And I won't pretend to break your heart like Potter did. I'll break it properly…"

Those prophetic words, uttered from the mouth of malice, had come true. I knew that it was true, I was so like my dragon, but unlike at the same time. And I loved him, with such passion that it scared me. And he had broken my heart. 

I know now, what I did not know then. That night would be our last together. That when I left the seventeen year old wizard in the morning, I would not see him again for two years. And that when I did see him, he would no longer be that innocent dragon, so full of fire and life that I left behind. He would be a wizard trapped in Voldemort's grip.

And yet, it may have been the very thing that saved us. Saved us all…


	4. Venus

Authors Note – Wow, thanks for all the lovely reviews. I'm not the review hungry type, but I'm really glad that you all like my story, well, mostly anyway. All of my little personal thankyou's are at the bottom….

*~*~*~*

Memoirs of a Dragon Lover - Chapter 4 - Venus

_'I'm watching from the wall,_

_As in the streets we fight._

_This world all gone to war,_

_All I need is you tonight.' – P.J Harvey, One Line_

The two years in the interval of our story, I will not easily forget. On the night Draco was called, Voldemort put into action the plan that he had had 17 years to formulate, and he did so with a vengeance. 

Finally we had to stop hiding behind our affinity for good. We had to gather our strengths. Hide our weaknesses. Call upon our courage. But most of all, we had to hope that all of the stories we had heard of good overcoming evil were true. And that the same rules applied this time. 

We were unprepared. Amongst veterans, there were people like me. Fresh out of Hogwarts, green, scared, too attached to the theory of life. We were thrown into battles, we became foot soldiers, guerrillas, assassins, disillusioned. We fought in a war that was hidden from the rest of the world. A war, that like all others accomplished nothing but death. Our friends fell at our feet. Our mentors fell beside us. Our husbands, wives, children, brothers, sisters, boyfriends, girlfriends ceased to exist. Our hearts fell. Our enthusiasm paled in the wake of so much death. We wished that it were us decaying beneath the earth. Because perhaps there, there would be no pain. 

I was an assassin. I was a killer. A murderer – but of course there's no murders in war. Only justified death. My duties took me many places. I was given a name…and was not to report back until that person was dead. I killed so many people. I ache when I think of it now. I never questioned the tasks that I was given. Never did I ask what the 'target' had done. Not until one day, a November day. I remember it so vividly…it was the day my world came crashing down around me. The late Autumn air was crisp, and you could smell the frost in the air. I was due to receive a new target that day. As Harry handed me the case folder I felt an overwhelming sense of horror, and when I opened it I knew why. There, staring up at me from the page was a name. My target. My enemy. My love. My dragon. Draco Malfoy, wanted dead for operations aiding the cause of the Dark Lord Voldemort. I felt bile rise in my throat, and dizziness swept over me. I couldn't do it. 

"Hermione, are you alright?"

"Yes. Yes Harry, I'm fine."

"Well. Good luck."

"Yes. Yes, thankyou."

I left. Walked out into the cold air. Resigned myself to the fact that it had to be done. I had to kill the man I loved. Because I did love him. Still. After two years. He haunted my dreams and I couldn't escape him. How could I? He was a part of me. And soon he would be gone. Forever.

_Draco Malfoy, last known location – London, England._ I was to find him there. And find him I did, only two days later. I could have killed him then, I could have destroyed him. I didn't. I followed him. I was putting off the inevitable, and I knew it. I reasoned with myself that I was finding a way to do the operation covertly. I knew that I was lying, never before had I had to stalk a target. But then, never before had my target been Draco Malfoy. He was beautiful still. His silver hair hung over his face. He was thinner than he had been, but nothing was more intriguing than the aura of power that hung about him. Enveloped him in with it's very core. He was intoxicating, just as he had been two years previously. Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe it was stupidity, and maybe it was love, I don't know what made me confront him. But I did. 

It was in a coffee shop. It was night. I was scared. I walked inside, out of the bitingly cold air. He spoke to me without turning around.

"Hello Hermione."

"Draco. How, um, how did you know I was here?"

"Hermione, really, you've been following me for days. Take a seat will you?"

I sat on the low chair opposite him.

"So tell me Hermione, **why** exactly have you been following me? I know you have been. Is it just because I'm gorgeous?"

"Well Draco, the truth is. Oh. Don't worry about the truth." 

I knew then that I couldn't do it. I couldn't care less about the Ministry and its needs and wants. I'd been doing the Ministry's bidding for the past two years, they could wait for me now. We talked then. Oh, how we talked. It was like no time had passed at all, like the clock had stopped ticking, or had gone into reverse, and we were back at Hogwarts, at the safest place we knew. And we didn't have to kill, or hate, or despise. We just had to be. 

It was late when we went home. That sounds beautiful doesn't it? We went home. Just like it had been in my dreams. Of course, it wasn't like that at all. We went back to my home. Which is so different, and much sadder. I guess we made up for the time that we spent apart that night.

It was a clear night, and the stars were out, the opposite of our first night together. It was cold in the house as we made our way up to the bedroom, holding each other's hands, like we never wanted to let go. I didn't want to let him go. The mattress was soft beneath me, and Draco was hard above me, and fire ran through my veins. That dragon fire, that was almost like ice. He was mine that night, and I was his, and it seemed to me that there was nothing I had ever heard that was more beautiful than when he screamed my name to the sky, to the gods. Forever linking us together, even in death. We stood at the window, just as the sun was rising over the mountains to the east. The sky was pink, and Venus glowed still in the morning air. Draco's arms wrapped around my waist felt like heaven.

"I have to go."

"I know Draco."

"I'll never forget tonight. I…Hermione?"

"Mmmm..?"

"See that star?"

"Yes, it's Venus."

"Well, whenever you see that star, wherever you may be, whatever you're doing, promise to think of me?"

"Of course." I kissed him on the jaw.

"I have to go."

"You said that before."

"That doesn't mean it isn't true."

"I know."

"Well, good bye Hermione. We may meet again somewhere."

"I don't think so."

"Yes, well. Goodbye."

I gave him one last kiss, and I could feel my heart breaking again. I slipped a small piece of paper into his hand. 

"Read it, after you've left. Goodbye."

He let go of my hands, turned around and walked out of my house, out of my life, out of the world as I knew it. I cried.     

*~*~*~*

Thankyou to - CLARICEKARN1234, j.ahots, Sex-Is-Wild, Serpent de feu (for sticking with it), Elaviel, harrysgirl, hasapi, Crystalline Lilly, Draco's Lover, Anna, Katie, Rashel Jordan, HerMiOneDrAco, Ally (yeah, it was kinda, wasn't it?),  and last but hopefully not least lemn grl. Thanks heaps, and I hope you all enjoyed Chapter Four!


	5. Note!

Notes on Memoirs – It hasn't been beta'd, except for the first chapter, so I will be uploading the beta'd versions when they come along. So just bear with it….


	6. Sacrifice

Memoirs of a Dragon Lover

Chapter Five - Sacrifice

"All will be forgiven, 

When surrender rises high,

And I gave what I came to give, 

Say it now, because you never know." – RHCP, "Tear"

Time went on slowly, my life repeating, and repeating the same thing over and over again. Kill, maim, hate. Kill, maim, hate. It was merely weeks after my night with Draco that Harry owled me to say that the end was near. We were preparing for one final blast. It was all or nothing this time. 

The night arrived with the speed of lightning, a stark contrast to the previous weeks. We gathered at the Ministry headquarters, the remnants of us. I nodded to those I knew. Pavarti, Lavender, Dean, Seamus. My schoolmates, all getting ready with me. At least we'd be together in the end. Harry and Ron were there too. How I loved them that night. Giving me those smiles that made me feel young again, even in the face of certain death. Sirius was there, with Remus, all that was left of a comradeship destroyed by the war. They were ready to fight to the death too. Their strength gave me strength, and I'm glad for it. At last we were all ready. Courageous to the last I suppose. I hugged Harry, Ron, Sirius, Remus, for what I thought was the last time. I was ready. I was ready to face whatever destiny thought it could throw at me. We flew. To a field, not far from Hogwarts. The sky was blood red, perhaps in anticipation of the carnage that would ensue. The ground, was dark, wet, and felt as if it were already soaked with the blood of generations. It was then that we saw them, rising as if from the depths of hell itself - the Deatheaters. Led by the snaky visage that was Voldemort, covered in their robes of black death, and coming towards us. Thirsty for blood. 

I knew that he would be there somewhere, in the group that was marching toward us. And I knew, that he would kill. Perhaps one of my friends. Perhaps me. Power does strange things to people. Sirius threw the first curse…and the world stopped, slowed down, went quiet…and exploded with unmatched fury. Curses flew in every direction, all the colours of the rainbow, noises deafening. Parvarti fell down beside me. It was amazing how quiet it was. A flash, and Parvarti Patil was gone, not here, up there, somewhere, nowhere. More people fell. I saw Remus get hit. And tears sprang to my eyes, and my blood boiled with anger. Remus had never hurt anyone, not given anyone reason to hate him. He was a beautiful soul, that had gone to join Parvarti, wherever it was that she was. I don't know exactly what possessed me then. Anger, I suppose, but something took over, I was running on auto pilot. 

"Harry! Sirius! Ron! Come with me!" I led them away from the main group. Towards a small group of Deatheaters, who I knew must be protecting Voldemort. I was ahead of the others, and through either courage, or stupidity walked up to them alone. 

"Let me speak with him!"

"With who Mudblood?" a voice hissed from beneath the hideous mask that hid his face.

"You know. Your master. Your leader. Your owner…" The last words I spoke hung in the air, both threatening and perversely satisfying. 

"Very well then Mudblood. What is it that you want to say to me?" answered back another voice, high-pitched but chilling. Voldemort. His stooped figure covered in a black cloak, emanating a green glow. He was death personified.

"Look around you. Look. Tell me what you see."

"I see justice."

"Justice! Justice! What sort of justice is this…"

"Exactly the kind that your sort deserve." He raised his wand. The world slowed down again. My hand flew protectively over my stomach, as I prepared myself to die. I wasn't scared…It was just another adventure, another place to learn, and love. Green light shot from the tip of his wand, and I closed my eyes, waiting for my last breath. It didn't come. I opened my eyes to see Draco jump in front of me and get hit by the curse. The world sped up again. 'Avada Kedavara' I screamed as I pointed my wand at Voldemort, three other flashes of green hit him at the same time. Ron, Harry, Sirius - they kept fighting. 

I dropped to the ground on my knees, and grabbed the lifeless body of Draco. It seems to me that at that moment that everything that I felt for him came out at once. In a scream that rent the earth and sky, and accompanied him to heaven, for in dying for me he saved himself, and could walk with the gods. My scream subsided into sobs…and tears…and pointless pleadings of 'Draco! Draco! Wake up!' and beating of my fists upon the ground. I knew he was gone. He could never come back. I can't remember much after that. Sirius told me later that I blacked out, but even in my unconscious state, they couldn't pry Draco out from my arms. I held onto him for as long as I could. It was all I could do. 

It was a grey morning when I awoke, the sky was mourning with me. Sirius was sitting by my side. 

"Hello." I said groggily.

"Hello sleepyhead" he replied, sounding worse than I did. "Hermoine. I was just waiting for you to wake up, to give you this." He held out a small scrap of parchment. "It was in Draco's hand when we searched him. Looks like your handwriting…"

"Thanks Sirius" I took the parchment that he was offering me.

He left, with a small, sad smile upon his face. I think perhaps he knew how I felt. 

I opened the piece of parchment. It was the note I gave Draco not so long ago, on our last night together. 

And when we get in the same place, at the same time, it is your grace that I want to fall right into now. To love avow.  

He loved me to the last. My Draco. My Lover. My Dragon. And I loved him. And it saved us. Saved everyone. For Voldemort was gone, and the world was free again. 


	7. The End

Memoirs of a Dragon Lover 

Chapter Six – The End

"This is kind of about you,

This is kind of about me,

We just kind of lost our way, 

But we were looking to be free.

But one day we'll float,

Take life as it comes." – P.J Harvey "We Float"

I sit here a lot. In the garden of Sirius' house, he's looking after me now, although I don't know why. It's beautiful here, the dappled shade of the trees is cool. It seems so strange to me to be sitting here, writing this. It seems so strange that I have only just recovered. To me, it seems like an aeon has passed, taking with it all of the things that had once meant so much to me. I've lost so much, everyone has. Was it worth it? You tell me. Would I go through it again? Yes, yes I would. If only to feel the love Draco gave to me for a few moments of my life. 

I sometimes think of the past. Of the happy times when we were all together, everyone that is, and I didn't have to think of the deaths of people I loved, even if I didn't know right then that I loved them. Pavarti, Lavender, Seamus, Remus, Hagrid. They all helped me. They all deserved to be loved, and to live. Not to fall into the darkness. But things happen for a reason, as I've always told myself. Life is a blank page, and it is up to us to draw the lines upon that page, but sometimes, our hand is held for us and we have no control over what we draw. I'd like to think, that whoever held my hand through the past years knew what he was on about, and things happened for a reason. I'd like to think that life is a game. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you break even. I'd like to think these things, but who really knows? Who knows what the future holds, or what the present may bring? Sometimes, I think that I might like to. Other times I know it's better that I don't. 

The world is somewhat more peaceful now, although it will never be the same as it was. Never will people be able to feel safe after dark. Never will they let their children play, away from their watchful eyes. No, it will never be the same again. No one will be able to look into the past and not feel a gut wrenching sense of loss. They are saying that this time is a new beginning for us all, and I'd like to think that that is true but I can't. The past holds too much of a sway over the future. You can't rub away those lines that you draw. So I'll sit here, in the shade of Sirius' garden, and I'll remember. I'll remember all of the good things. All of the fun, amazing, memorable times with all of those that I loved. That way, they'll live forever, in my memory. And I know that I'll be forever grateful for their sacrifices. For the life they gave so that we could live.  

Now, onto Draco. He's gone, and there's nothing that I can do about that, but I'm not alone. Whenever I look at the pinpoint of light that is Venus, I know that I'll never be alone. Because a love like ours, can't ever die. It started before time, the kind of Love we had. It was the love of Adam and Lilith, of Guenevere and Lancelot, of Romeo and Juliet, and all of the other loves that were written in the stars but could never be. It was a passion that had no boundaries, no confines, except for what we would allow, and we allowed none. It has transcended the barrier of death, and will continue forever. My hope now lies inside me, to the child that should never have been. She will be a child of passion, of love and of all the things that are right in the world. I know her daddy is looking after us both.

*~*~*~*~*

End Note – Well, that's it. I really hope that you liked it. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but oh well…Depending on the response I get, I may do a little epilogue just to tie up the loose ends. Thankyou to all of the people who reviewed, I really do appreciate it. I know it's just a little story in a big fandom, but I hope that I changed something in you. Whether it just be your appreciation of the D/Hr ship, or your take on the personal side of the war. Thankyou again and again….

**Sometimes Angel** 


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